A need for growth

I cannot sit still…

Now I can hear a number of you say: ‘Duh Sarah, we have known this for just about for as long we have known you!… Yet, what is this phenomenon? I ask myself this question on a regular basis. Where does it come from, and will it ever go away?

Direct.

I am a doer. I sometimes (well, actually, rather often) act before I think… Not just with taking decisions, but also with saying things. I know I can be rather, uhm, well… direct.

And believe you me, people do not always appreciate this. Nowadays I try to pay more attention to this habit and find myself very regularly biting my tongue (so when you notice that my face contracts, you know what is going on ;-)).

A gut feeling.

Fair is fair: this high energy of mine has certainly paid dividends. It had opened doors, created opportunities, and it has taught me a lot, both about myself as a person and as an entrepreneur. I sometimes refer to this as ‘gut-driven entrepreneurship’. It’s very simple: I look, I feel (and very briefly think about it) and then my conclusion very often is something like: nothing ventured nothing gained!

Now I also just have to make an honest confession: actually I don’t want to sit still. I want to grow, I want to develop and I want to do things!

Making choises.

As it so happened I had a conversation the other day with three dear fellow goldsmiths and they told me: I think it is very impressive what you have achieved in 2020, the choices that you have made, and the way you now just so clearly go for this one goal. Which of course is an incredible compliment to receive! #youknowwhoyouare

However, making these choices and creating this focus on just one thing did not just happen overnight. It has been a real struggle and there have been many days on which I looked around and have thought: I think that I should just give up and go and do something completely different than goldsmithing, for this is just too much for me….

Fortunately I know that there are many other goldsmiths out there who know this feeling all too well. And, for sure, it is complete and utter nonsense! I know, but sometimes you just have a day like that. This high energy of mine nearly strangled me. It may seem very appealing, all this wanting to go further and bigger and more and and and andandandandandand and what then, then what?

For what is it that I really want? What is my goal and what is my dream? I have been asking myself this question for quite some time now.

Respect.

In one stroke, Corona (or, rather: Prime Minister Rutte’s first press conference in March 2020) made me realise that I am not the kind of person to have a boutique. It became crystal clear for me at  that very moment: I want to make, design and create. I wanted to work in a studio of my own and work on commission. Just let me add that I have a lot of respect for fellow goldsmiths who have a boutique, for there is so much more to it than just running this boutique.

So, despite the grief, the stress and yes, another change, moving from Zaandijk to Zaandam has been the best decision I have made in 2020. It was the first step in the right direction, and was the basis for the next steps. My energy very quickly reached a certain level again and the inspiration returned.

Esther Ligthart, my coach.

In the meantime, I have hired a busines coach. This was quite a decision for me to take, but it was the right one. She makes me think about my company, holds up a mirror and tells me that also in other entrepreneurs’ yards the grass is not greener. ‘Focus on yourself and your own qualities and what you want to do and what you want to achieve.’ She knows how to guide this high energy of mine into this focused beam, a kind of spotlight. Not busying myself with a thousand different things but just focus on what I want. And I can tell you, this is very hard at times! For it is not easy to let go of old habits. Sometimes I still want to go too fast, I want too much and and andandand… The upside is that now I know what I do want and what definitely I don’t want anymore. And this, especially, I consider to be very valuable.

During our most recent session, she asked me the following question: what would you do if you knew that you could not fail? Isn’t this a wonderful question? For what would you do? Can you answer this question instantly? My high energy was immediately sparked and off I went, although this time just in my mind. I did, however, not give in to my inclination to go I and and andandandand, and gave a reply that I will expand upon in my next blog, for I surprised myself (and at the same time I didn’t)!

More about Esther.

Esther Ligthart is a jewellery blogger, speaker and writes for numerous high end magazines. She also coaches designers and I am happy with her as my coach. If you would like to know more about Esther, what she does and her blogs. Please visit her website www.bizzita.com or het LinkedIn page www.linkedin.com/in/estherligthart